Doubt

A hero is someone who, in spite of weakness, doubt or not always knowing the answers, goes ahead and overcomes anyway. – Christopher Reeve 

Doubt – I don’t think there is a single person alive who can honestly say he has never felt it. Whether it’s about if he should go on a date, ask someone out, if a job is right for him, and various other issues. Doubt, like other negative emotions, can drive us to dark places if we let it. Tdanbo_06he problem is that so many of us have no clue how to best deal with doubt, myself included. So I want to talk about my overall experience with doubt, in the hopes that it may help someone to better manage their own.

Some of you may know that I am a Nursing major, and some of you may even know from firsthand experience what that is like. It’s hard. It is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life in terms of academics. Granted, I came into this program knowing it would be hard, but it’s surpassed all my expectations.  Recently I’ve been questioning if this program is right for me. I want to help people – I need to help people no matter what I do for a career.  I just know I need to help. That said, nursing is so high stress all the time, I question whether or not I will be able to handle it. I question whether or not I will really enjoy it. I often wonder if all this is because of where my clinical placement is right now, and the tasks to which I am currently assigned.  I can’t say for sure at this time because it’s all been wearing me down.  I don’t know whether or not I need to switch majors. I don’t know if I stick with nursing and end up hating it, what will I do? Things like this have been eating away at me and for the past couple weeks, it’s been really bad to the point where I’ve become depressed which doesn’t help my grades. It’s just a negative cycle that I’ve kept repeating and repeating. I doubt that this is all right for me and I predispose myself to not liking it, and that only serves to make things worse because I realize I am not giving myself a fair chance.

My friends and family have both talked to me and encouraged me to keep going and to give Nursing a trydoubt-unbelievable-34120230-225-300.  They say things like it will get better, and doubts are normal.  My doubt makes me question if it ever really will get better. Over this past weekend, I’ve realized that I am only making things worse by letting my doubts wear on me that I will only further dig myself into depression by allowing them to be the focus of my every thought. So I’ve decided to adopt a new attitude, or to at least attempt to. I want to take things as they come, and approach both my major and my life with an open mind. Otherwise, my life will only continue to become more miserable, and I don’t want that.  However, a reasonable amount of doubt is healthy because living life with 100% certainty isn’t healthy either. As Voltaire said “Doubt is an uncomfortable condition, but certainty is a ridiculous one.”  So while I will not ignore the enormity of the unknown, I will do my best to take it one day at a time.

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6 thoughts on “Doubt

  1. Working in medicine is no easy job, and hopefully it’ll work out for you! I want to help people too, and so Ive decided I want to go into the same field, just not into nursing. What is important to know is that you have come so far and you have to finish strong! You have to give yourself credit for what youve accomplished thus far. Keep your head up, you can do this 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the words! And im happy to hear youre going into business of helping people. It’s rewarding. And I know I can do it, its just hard and frustrating sometimes and it can wear on ya. But i’ll push through.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve been a nurse for over 25 years, and I will tell you a little secret. The hard work, and all if the pain, sweat and tears are worth it! Yes, you will work hard. Yes, the hours are long. Yes, the training is hard. But I would do it all again. My patients are like family to me. They become a part of you, and you, a part of them. You will laugh and cry with them. You will heal with them. You will grieve with them. But you will never forget them. Don’t give up. This is the most amazing career. And it is so worth it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Things like these are why I haven’t given up yet. I want to be able to look back and say the same things to people training to be future nurses. Thank you so much for your words and your encouragement.

      Liked by 1 person

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